Melancholics Anonymous

by Rumour Den

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about

Self financed album by Northern Irish alternative rock band - RUMOUR DEN

credits

released 01 January 2002

Vocals & Lyrics - AJ Gilmore
Guitars & Music - Steve Simms
Bass Guitar - Robert Boyd
Drums - Stephen Heron
Keyboards, Samples & Loops - Gary Aiken

Produced by Gary Aiken

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all rights reserved

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about

Rumour Den County Antrim, UK

Formed in the late 1990's by Al Gilmore & Steve Simms, Rumour Den did a lot in a short space of time including a self- financed single 'Under A Cloud' and album 'Melancholics Anonymous' - both to critical acclaim. However, problems outside music meant the band had to split up for several years. But now Gilmore & Simms have put a new line-up together and are determined to make up for lost time ... more

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Track Name: Under A Cloud
One more day as I am,
Is not a sacrifice in itself.
It's just another dream on hold,
Gathering dust on a shelf.
I put it to the back of my mind,
Save it for a better day.
The one that I'm praying for,
As I drive home through the rain.

I'm just another face in the crowd,
Living under a cloud.
I'm just another insomniac.

One more day on the road,
Soon be home with my dutiful wife.
I know how hard she tries,
To fill the void that's in my life.
I can pretend that things are ok,
And bottle it all up inside,
But she'll get the blame someday,
For what I feel I've been denied.

I'm just another face in the crowd,
Living under a cloud.
I'm just another insomniac,
Papering over the cracks.

One more day for 'dear ol' dad',
One kid has now become two.
And I tell my wife everything,
'Cept what I think and do.
And in a house full of people,
I'm in a world of my own,
Completely surrounded,
But completely alone.

I'm just another face in the crowd,
Living under a cloud.
I'm just another insomniac.
I'm just another face in the crowd,
Living under a cloud.
I'm just another insomniac,
Papering over the cracks,
Hiding the things that I lack.
You stole from me,
Give it back, give it back, give it back.
Track Name: Scared of Dying
I'm scared of dying on my way home from work,
Stuck in a traffic jam with all the other jerks;
All dreaming of promotion,
That want ad with our names on.
All waiting for a future,
That we hope is just around the corner.

But what if that corner's a hairpin bend,
And what looked like beginning was really the end,
And there's no time left,
Not even time for regret?
Will there be a calm or serenity?
Will the last moment left to me,
Be the first time in my life,
When I am really free?

And I'm scared of dying in some small town bar,
Where no one notices you, noone knows who you are
As I lie my soul bare,
No one listens and nobody cares,
And my death's a distraction,
It barely gets a reaction.

No, they don't even look up from their drinks,
And I've done the same, I know that it stinks.
And I'll die among peers,
Who only lived for their next beer.
There'll never be a calm or serenity,
For in the one moment left to me,
All that I'll see is the waste my life has been.

And I'm scared of dying in some low lit room,
Strange lips kissing mine and strange perfume.
She didn't know who i was,
She just said she liked what she saw.
But it was never meant to be,
I guess there's never,
Never a good time to leave.
Never a good time to leave.

There's never a good time,
Never a good time to leave.
Never a good time,
Never a good time to leave.
Track Name: Nadir
This is the bottom,
The place of self-rejection.
Just shook hands with broken glass,
It use to be my reflection,
Till I punched it with my fist,
Couldn't bear to look at it.
Didn't feel the pain in my bones,
But deep down inside it hit home.

This is the bottom,
And everything looks rotten from down here.
My heart's an empty bottle,
There's nothing I hold dear to me.

This is the bottom,
The point of no return.
So don't tell me that die ain't cast,
It was the first thing that I learned.
And now my last last chance is used,
There's no one's kindness left to abuse.
There's no way to turn it around,
The spiral always corkscrews down.

This is the bottom,
And everything looks rotten from down here.
My heart's an empty bottle,
There's nothing I hold dear to me.

Used to hold to near to me,
Back in better days.
The future seemed so clear to me,
Before my fall from grace.
I never thought I'd end up hear,
My nadir x 5

This is the bottom,
And there's no ladder I can climb.
I sold my soul digging for gold,
And now I haven't got a dime.
No, I haven't got a prayer,
Or belief in something out there,
Won't hold my breath for better times,
I know this is the end of the line.

This is the bottom,
And everything looks rotten from down here.
My heart's an empty bottle,
There's nothing I hold dear to me.
To me, To me, To Me,
There's nothing I hold dear to me.
To me, To me, To Me,
There's nothing I hold dear to me.
Nadir x 8
No there's nothing I hold dear to me.
Track Name: Down By Degrees
Little by little,
Is how she says I've changed.
She says it's nothing you can put your finger on,
She just knows it's not the same, anymore.

Want to look in the mirror,
And see my smile.
It's the one thing about me,
That I still like.

But it's getting harder,
Than I know it should be.
It's getting harder,
To see the wood from the trees.
I'm going down by degrees

Bitter tastes bitter,
You can't pretend it's sweet.
You can kiss and try to make it better,
But you have to admit defeat, sometimes.

Want to look in the mirror
And see my smile.
It's the one thing about me,
Someone else might like.

But it's getting harder,
Than I know it should be.
It's getting harder,
To see the wood from the trees.
You're wearing me down by degrees.

Down by degrees.
I'm down on my knees.
I think it's time that we,
Set eachother free.

It's getting harder,
Than I think it should be,
If I loved you and if you loved me.
It's getting harder,
To see the wood from the trees,
Little by little and piece by piece.
It's getting harder,
Than I know it should be,
You're wearing me down by degrees,
I'm getting tired,
Being down on my knees,
So why don't we set eachother free?

Want to look in the mirror,
And see my smile....
Track Name: If I Told You
If I told you,
Would it have to be the end?
Would you smile your nervous smile?
Could you pretend I'd never said it?
If I told you,
Would your eyes fill up with blame?
Would you slap me on the face,
Or tell me that you feel the same?

Cos I can't bear it any longer.
I prayed the feelings would fade,
But they grew stronger.
Got the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Could it be any worse,
Would I feel any worse.

If I told you,
Would I become the enemy?
Would you hide yourself away
And make excuses not to see me?
Would you grab me by the wrist,
And tell me not to go?
Say 'it's just our little secret,
No one else need ever know'?

Cos I can't bear it any longer.
I prayed the feelings would fade,
But they grew stronger.
Got the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Could it be any worse,
Would I feel any worse.
If I told you.

Could it be any worse?
Would i feel any worse?
If I told you?
Would I feel any worse?

And if I told you,
Would it end the fantasy,
To deal with you as a person,
To face reality?
And if I told you,
Would it break the spell?
You'd be you and I'd be me,
Tracks to cover, lies to tell?

Cos I can't bear it any longer.
I prayed the feelings would fade,
But they grew stronger.
Got the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Could it be any worse,
Would I feel any worse.
Cos I can't bear it any longer.
I prayed the feelings would fade,
But they grew stronger.
Got the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Could it be any worse,
Would I feel any worse.
If I told you.
Track Name: Demon Seed
Watching, waiting,
Tension mounting slowly.
I hope I can control it,
I can't be sure.
I'm tired being careful,
And hiding from the world.
The sickness that I have,
Has no known cure.

Wanting all wrapped up in need,
Who planted this demon seed in me?
The hunger I'll always have to feed.
Wanting all wrapped up in need.
Who planted this demon seed in me?
Burning a hole, right through my soul,
Deep down, deeper than greed.

Watching, waiting,
There's power in being unseen.
They look you in the eyes,
But they'll never tell.
And as darkness falls,
Walking empty streets I feel it,
Coursing through my veins.
It burns like Hell.

Wanting all wrapped up in need,
Who planted this demon seed in me?
The hunger I'll always have to feed.
Wanting all wrapped up in need.
Who planted this demon seed in me?
Burning a hole, right through my soul,
Deep down, deeper than greed.
Deep down, deeper than greed.
Deep down, deeper than greed.
Track Name: This Night Holds Nothing For You
In the quiet of a lonely evening,
Take some comfort from the fact,
No one's going to get hurt tonight.
It's just you and the dying fire.
But something leads you to wonder,
If you should be somewhere else.
Is someone wishing you were there with them,
Or laughing at your expense?

This night holds nothing for you,
It's as empty as your soul.

Maybe you'll shave tomorrow,
To look nice for yourself.
You know a good thing when you see one,
As long as it's lit up well.
And you dream that things were different,
But you don't like it when they change.
There's a method to your sadness,
And your need to take revenge.

This night holds nothing for you,
It's as empty as your soul.
For you there are no shooting stars,
There's only black holes.

The minutes drift so slowly,
You count them in cigarettes.
You grab a cold one from the fridge,
And try to reach the point where you can forget.
All the thoughts that stopped you sleeping,
Those mysteries and premonitions.
But the fear that haunts you the most,
Is that there's truth in your visions
And they say,

This night holds nothing for you,
It's as empty as your soul.
For you there are no shooting stars,
No, there's only deep black holes.

You're a psychopath in an armchair,
Sitting raging at the stagnant air,
That you breath in 24 hours a day,
And wishing it would go away.
But it never goes away,
Never really goes away.
The sun may come,
And chase it away,
But it always comes back another day.
It always comes back another day.
It always comes back at the end of the day.
Track Name: House of Cards
How many noughts will it take
On your paycheque?
Will it ever be enough?
You're still that lonely child,
No amount of money can ever cover it up.

I wanna cut right through the bullshit,
Tell you I don't care,
Bout your car, your CD player,
Or the house of cards you're building.
Wanna cut right through the bullshit,
Bout all those things you own.
You'll end up all alone
In your house of cards.

How many phones do you need,
If no one loves you,
And only your boss ever calls?
You put in the overtime,
But the higher you climb,
The further you've got to fall.

I wanna cut right through the bullshit,
Tell you I don't care,
Bout your car, your CD player,
Or the house of cards you're building.
Wanna cut right through the bullshit,
Bout all those things you own.
You'll end up all alone
In your house of cards.

And it's a house of cards you're building
But your house of cards,
Is falling down, down.

I wanna cut right through the bullshit,
Cos I don't really care.
Bout your car, your CD player,
Or the house of cards you're building.
Wanna cut right through the bullshit,
Bout all those things you own.
You'll end up all alone
In your house of cards.
Track Name: Guilty Days
Eyes that burn like the ocean at sunset,
I have lost myself in them.
She's all ears to every word I'm saying,
Every fatal message that I send.

Too late, I can't turn back now,
This has already gone too far.
Too late, I've let down my defences,
Let her steal into my heart.

I've seen the devil in disguise,
Seen my reflection in a pair of pale blue eyes.
Forbidden fruit leave a bitter taste.
Too many times I've strayed,
Too many guilty days.

Today, I woke to
'How are you, wasn't last night great'?
As soon as I realised where I was,
I was planning my escape.

How come? I wasn't even trying,
Wasn't even looking my best.
How come? What was it about me,
That made me stand out from the rest?

I've seen the devil in disguise,
Seen my reflection in a pair of pale blue eyes.
Forbidden fruit leave a bitter taste.
Too many times I've strayed,
Too many guilty days.

I've learned something,
Guilt will always leave a trace.
You won't be able,
To look her in the face.
You'll avoid her eyes,
Won't believe the lies you tell.

For she's fragile, like a summer breeze.
She must never know the truth.
I take my shoes off in a pitch dark hallway,
To avoid her pitch dark looks.

No more, I tell myself again,
But how many times have I said it now?
No more, and I almost believe me,
But I'm lying to myself as well.

I've seen the devil in disguise,
Seen my reflection in a pair of pale blue eyes.
Forbidden fruit leave a bitter taste.
Too many times I've strayed,
Too many guilty days.
Track Name: Slumber
When did all these people get here?
When did I stop drinking beer?
Why can't I remember last year?
I must've been sleeping,
Asleep with no dreaming.

And everyone's left me behind,
Both in body and in mind.
It feels like life has passed me by,
And I've only just noticed.

Where did all my so-called friend go?
How did I miss the show?
They snuck away without letting me know,
The party is finished.
It must be time to get the drinks in.

And everyone's left me behind,
Both in body and in mind.
It feels like life has passed me by,
And I've only just noticed x 2

Can't believe what I have just read.
One more of my heroes is dead.
'Die young, live forever' they said,
But they're all dead and gone,
I think we're being conned.

15 years old when I bought the lie,
When you're 15 you don't ask why.
I thought it would answer all my prayers,
But I'm 25 now and I'm scared, I'm scared.
25 now and I'm scared, I'm so scared.

The tide is high,
And it's pulling me under.
And mine is just another life,
The demon drink has ripped asunder.

I could cry for help,
I could try to save myself,
Shake myself,
Shake myself, wake myself from this slumber
I could cry for help,
I could try to save myself,
Shake myself,
Shake myself, wake myself from this slumber.
Shake myself, wake myself from this slumber,
Shake myself, wake myself from this slumber.

I'm a young man in an old man's frame.
Bags under my eyes, from carrying the blame,
From carrying the shame.
If you see me on the street, pass me by.
If you see me on the street, let me lie.
Let me lie,
I've got to shake myself, wake myself,
I got to wake myself.
Shake myself, I've got to wake myself.

I've got to,
Shake myself from this slumber,
Maybe, wake myself from this slumber.
Got to shake myself from this slumber,
Maybe wake myself from this slumber,
Got to shake myself from this slumber
Maybe wake myself from this slumber,
I've got to shake myself,
I've got to wake myself.
Shake myself.

When did all these people get here?
When did I stop drinking beer?
Why can't I remember what I did last year?

I must've been sleeping,
Asleep with no dreaming.
Must've been sleeping,
Asleep with no dreaming,
Oh I must've been sleeping,
A sleep with no dream in,
Sleeping.
Sleeping.
Sleeping.
Sleeping.